How to Become the Focus of Attention in 2 Minutes
19/12/2017
Premiere Magazine
Every day, we have to deal with a multitude of different people. We make contact with friends, colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances and strangers. Still, the vast majority of the population does not possess the skills to communicate effectively! Studies show that about 70% of personal communication occurs through nonverbal channels. That is, with the help of movements, postures, gestures, facial expressions and touch, people make firm impressions on others. Of the remaining 30% that is verbal, only one-third is made up by words, with other two-thirds involving tone of voice and intonation. In other words, no matter what you say, it is in the non-verbal realm that true communication occurs.
Your body begins to speak even before you say the first word! The way you walk, smile or reach out will tell others about the person that you are and how sincere are your intentions. Every movement is a script from your unconscious that tells others all about you and about what you really think. These movements can be invisible and elude consciousness, but they have a strong attracting or repelling effect.
The comprehension of the art of communication begins with the study of facial expressions, gestures and postures. This is the foundation of any effective communication or interaction with others.
The strength of smiles!
Let us recall one of the basic rules of Dale Carnegie: «Smile». If your smile is sincere and you skilfully use it, you are many steps ahead. Successful people know that a smile is one of the most powerful tools of influence. They contend that your smile is so powerful that it will charm others and make the whole world smile with you. However, there is one important rule: the power of a smile is in a measure of self-restraint.
The suppression of a smile is especially important for women in business. Women are often in a hurry to smile, thus giving a signal that it is a «pleasure to meet me», but in order to win over your partner’s smile, you should be signalling what a «pleasure it is to meet you».
When meeting with a stranger, do not rush to smile. First, look into the other person’s eyes and at that person’s face. Only then should you feel free to reveal a smile. The span of time between your «scan» look and the smile should be no more than 2 seconds. The restrained smile adds greatly to your subsequent words and transmits sincerity.
Women who know how to smile discreetly, in the corporate world, are perceived as more reliable partners.
Sight
Your eyes are a weapon of great power! At a glance, you can ignite feelings or cool the ardour. You can caress or you can alienate. The eyes can tell a lot about a person. For example, the pupils expand and contract depending on changing attitudes and moods. After all, our brain is designed so that (unbeknownst to our consciousness) we react strongly to the slightest change, interpreting the received signals with expertise.
When you talk to people, learn to look in their pupils. It will tell you the whole truth about the true feelings and moods of a person. Professional poker players know very well how important this is, as they can determine what cards their opponent has by what they see in their opponent’s eyes. If you have a good hand, your pupils will tend to expand rapidly. Knowing this, players will often either wear dark glasses or not look into the eyes of their opponents. In order to win, you must find a way to read such non-verbal cues consistently and accurately.
If a person is hiding something from you, his eyes will meet yours less than one third of your total communication time. If this person meets your eyes more than two-thirds of the total communication time, it means one of two things:
• He thinks you are interesting or attractive (in this case, the pupils of his eyes will be slightly expanded).
• He is hostile towards you (in this case, the pupils are narrowed).
There are several methods by which you will be able to engage in dialogue in a proper and most lucrative way. During business negotiations, visually draw on the forehead of your interlocutor, at the level of his eyebrows and in the middle of them. Imagine a T-shaped intersection of the eyebrows and the nose. This will be the required point. Looking at this point during the conversation, you give the other party a way of understanding the seriousness and sincerity of your attitude. Keeping your eyes focused on the centre of this spot is an effective way of keeping the other person engaged and convinced of your integrity.
Speech
If your goal is to capture the attention of another person, what you say and how you speak in the first few minutes will also dictate your success. Knowing someone’s first name offers real value to your reception. You can say something to the other party, but he may not hear you, but if you are able to use his first name, you capture his attention immediately. If your goal is to win trust, repeat his name three times during your conversation and you will see that it works in the most fantastic way.
Another powerful tool involves the willingness to offer up a compliment. The main thing is to be as sincere as possible. The perfect compliment is a compliment that has the potential to raise the self-esteem of another. What is important is to compliment about something that is important or significant to this other person.
When conversing, start some of your sentences with «Tell me». This shows respect for the other person’s knowledge or opinions. Also, try to speak to the other person in a similar language style. Listen to the content and level of his speech because everyone uses a different set of keywords. When you find the voice «highlight», you can use it over time in your own speech designs. When conversing, try to talk less about yourself. Instead, be interested in the other person, as this will provide him with an emotional charge and he will be more inclined to communicate with you. Remember, there is a firm rule that new acquaintances talk only about pleasant things, so shy away from politics or religion.
Dilute a conversation with jokes at the second stage of the dialogue, as, at the beginning of the conversation, the interlocutor may not appreciate your sense of humour. Inserting a nifty place or mentioning a fun event can help the other person to relax and make contact. Another belief to consider is that the man that sincerely laughs cannot be unpleasant.
Language of the Body
What else can help you create the image of a confident and successful person? Of course, the way you move and, especially, your posture is of great value. Inner self-confidence is manifested in a confident posture. There are some basic rules of how best to keep the attention of a stranger with your body language.
First of all, try to silently repeat the gestures of the other person, such as folding your arms or making eye contact. He will feel that you are with him and that you feel some invisible bond. Secondly, do not expose your insecurities by adjusting your cufflinks on your shirt or swirling your wristwatch. To look more confident, lower your arms, do not make unnecessary movements and safely start a conversation.
If, before an important meeting, you do not believe in yourself, use the force posture by stretching your hands high above your head. According to research, when you stand in that position, you have increased testosterone, you feel confident and you «feel» your leadership skills.
During a meeting, do not put your foot on your leg, as you will appear closed and impervious. This is an ideal position if you want to show detachment, but if you are negotiating, it is better to sit in a more open position and, thus, demonstrate a willingness to hear the other party. As well, crossed hands also suggest that you seek to protect yourself from the interlocutor and that you are sceptical. Crossing your arms, you insulate yourself from others. During a meeting, hold your head up. This will demonstrate that you have pride, self-confidence and authoritativeness.
When you use hand gestures, make sure that your hands
are palm up. This will encourage the listener’s trust. He sees that you are open and with nothing to hide. This method will help those who want to convince others of something. In general, this gesture is useful in any situation where your integrity may be called into question.
If you want to establish a firm relationship, when a person tells you something, nod occasionally. This way you express your attention to what is being said.
Above all, what has been outlined here is not difficult at all. It is with the help of these techniques that you will be able to make a good impression in the first few seconds of any meeting. You are positioning yourself with other people «at a glance». Now, it is up to you to make full use of what you now know.
